living my nightmares
by KIMOTHIE
Summary: Bella moves to forks after forcing her mom into rehab...nobody knows how truely depressed she is and when she meets jacob everything just gets worse...can edward save her or will she continue spiraling out of control
1. Chapter 1

the dream

I sat in the car wondering how I let my mother talk me into this. Her drug addiction was getting worse but I was always the one taking care of her yet here I was in this car with my father, a man I barley knew. I was always told I looked like him I had the same dark curls the same long nose and his piercing blue eyes. I never spent much time with Charlie he left my mom when I was just a baby.

We drove through his dreary town of forks were everything seems to be perfect. Charlie was the head of the only big business in town he was in charge of all the renovations the town needed and also on the police force he was one of the four deputies. we pulled into the drive way of my new home still painted the bright yellow color my mother was so in love with when I was a baby. that's when the tears start to flow I missed her terribly and this house just made it worse. I walked through the front door and my mouth fell open nothing had change every detail was exactly the same from the color of the walls to grandmother swans china against the far wall. I took myself up to the spare room to settle in.

I learned that night that my dad was the best cook in the world one task that would be taken of my hands. my mother couldn't cook to save her life it was horrible some of the things she forced on me when I was a child the day I turned thirteen I decided I would take over the cooking for my mother and little sister roselind

I wanted her to come with me but we didn't have the same father and I had to let her go. she moved in with her dad a man I never like three month before I decided to force my mother into rehab and move in with Charlie. when I snapped out of my thoughts It was time for bed but of course with the wind blowing my fears about a new school and the eyes I knew would be on me tomorrow as I walked the halls of a school I have never seen with people I did not know I didn't sleep I sat in my bed having a full blown panic attack.

I hadn't said a word all day and didn't know if I could. so the next morning when charlie woke me for breakfast I was shocked

"bella sweaty its time to wake up…bella…bella wake up if you want breakfast you need to wake up school starts in half an hour… sweaty come on wake up.."

"dad come on I just fell asleep"

"why the hell oh never mind you teenagers get weirder by the day wake up"

he was actually nice I never expected him to play the father role so well I was surprised that he had that father instinct after twelve years. I drug myself out of bed got dressed combed through my hair and went to join him for breakfast. the smell coming up the stairs was amazing. pancakes bacon eggs hash browns orange juice my mouth started watering and I couldn't resist I sat down and started eating as fast as possible.

Charlie threw me a smile that made him look thirty years younger he was nearing half a century and he didn't like to be reminded of it.

"that good" he assumed

"dad where did you learn to cook like this I haven't tasted food this good in forever you know mom cant cook and oh my god…" I was trying not to blabble but it wasn't working so I shoved another bite of pancake in my mouth I could taste something different was it cinnamon or vinalla I couldn't quite put a name to the taste.

I looked up at the clock "holy crow dad I got to go" I almost screamed "im gonna be late" I threw my back pack across my shoulder and headed out the door I missed the bus and had to run to catch it at the next stop. by the time I got to a empty seat I was out of breath and ready to die from embarrassment. the only seat open was next to a boy named Edward there was something different about him I couldn't put my finger on it the way his green eyes held mine for a second longer then everyone elses he was beautiful handsome wasn't a good enough description he was perfect and it scared me. sitting there next to this angel i couldn't explain the feeling I was having he hadn't even said a word to me but some how I felt a pull towards him like some kind of magical attraction that I had never felt before.

"hello" he said in almost a whisper

"um…hello…" I was trying to hide the surprise in my voice

I could feel more then one set of eyes on me and that of course made me blush and then there weirdest thing happened he looked up at me with the most amazing smile on his face and reached up to run his fingers across my cheek

"look at that…how lovely"

I couldn't find my voice but I could feel my cheeks grow hot again. I tried not to look at him but of course I lost my will and turned my head he disappeared. I woke up to the alarm clock radio.

chpt 2

Charlie had already left for work so here I was alone trying to figure out what it meant what this crazy dream about I boy ive never seen was supossed to me. I couldn't eat the bowl of cereal I pour my self so I threw it in the sink grabded my bag and head out the door. Charlie was at the station today so he took the cruiser. I found the extra set of keys to the pick up and drove myself to school. I got lost a couple times before I pulled into the right parking lot got out of the truck and headed to the front office. I walked through the door and was taken back by how warm and happy the office looked compared to every other part of this drizzeling town I now call home.

"hello sweat heart can I help you"

"yeah um im bella swan"

"oh well it's a pleasure to finally meet you…you've been a subject on every bodys mind for the last couple weeks"

that set off another panick attack couldn't I just be home schooled or something. I got the papers I needed and walked to my first class.

there he was just like in my dream with the same mystical green eyes. he was sitting in the back row. I walked up to the teacher and handed him my transfer papers.

"Hello Isabella…"

"I go by bella"

"well bella here's your seat"

I was put in the far right corner on the opposite side of the class room from the boy I had seen only once and it wasn't even in real life but in a dream one I couldnt explain. I sat there on the opposite side of the room staring at the strange boy wondering what it was about him that I was so drawn to. He didn't even look at me he stayed in his corner and did his work with out saying a word to anyone. I wa seated next to a boy names Jacob who was really cute he had pitch black hair and the most beautiful blue eyes

"hi im Jacob black your bella swan right…your a lot prettier then I thought you would be no offence I just am so use to the girls around here your like a breath of fresh air….sorry im blabbing again" he turned his head away from me and I tried to see why but he hid his face to well

"hey well its nice to meet you Jacob…umm thanks for the compliment I guess" I mumbled I knew my cheeks were bright red I wasn't one that liked the spot light that's for sure. we didn't say anything for the rest of the period but every time I looked up he was staring at me and he wasn't trying to hide it

the bell rang and as I was getting out of my chair I trip over his back pack typical bella move im always falling over something. before I could hit the ground Jacob caught me in his arms and winked at me maybe in this crazy rainy town people thought it was cute when others fell over. I looked up straightened my self out grabed my bag and that when I noticed his eyes on me from across the room he wore a smile on his face that was breath taking I just stood there like and idiot staring at him I could feel the heat on my cheeks and neck. I was blushing a lot today well I should say a lot more then normal.

"bella hey bella you in there hello" Jacob was trying to call me out of my trance

"hey sorry what were you saying.." I managed to mumble

"you want to eat lunch with me and a couple friends" he asked

"umm…sure why not I don't know anybody else"

we walked to the cafeteria and I was actually laughing and flirting what the hell was wrong with me I didn't normal pay attention to guys but there was something about the way jake smiled at me that made my heart skip a beat. I grabbed a coke and an apple and followed jake to his lunch table. I felt someones eyes on me and that always made me nervous I turned around to scan the lunch room and that's when I spotted Edward off in a corner eating lunch by himself staring at me

"that kids so weird" I heard jake whisper almost to himself

" why do you say that doesn't look like he's hurting anyone to me"

I couldn't understand why I got defensive about a guy I never even spoke to but then again I didn't understand a lot of things that were going on today.

the lunch bell rang before jake could respond. I went through the rest of the day with out seeing the Edward again. jake on the other hand had four classes with me. after the last bell rang he walked me out to the truck and helped me in

"well I'll see you later bella have a good rest of the day" he said turning around to leave

"alright jake see you later…hey how are you getting home" I said before I even realize I said it. he turned around with a classic smile on his face and said I walk.i made a promise to myself not to let jake walk to school or back the whole time I was here.

"hey get in I'll give you a ride…if you want I can pick you up to there no reason someone should have to walk in the rain"

"thanks bella…I knew I liked you for a reason" he said

"no problem" I shrugged it off trying to play cool


	2. Chapter 2

I was in complete an utter shock when Jake said that this was his house it was destroyed the paint was faded the grass was at least knee high and there was trash every where. I felt bad for him but didn't want to show it so I put on my best fake smile and looked at him his eyes held so much pain I needed to comfort him but before I worked up the nerve to reach over I heard the yelling

"Jacob get your ass in here now you piece of trash…"

"I'm coming dad" Jake yelled quickly

Jake looked completely embarrassed and the pain was even worse I didn't think I could comfort him so I just nodded and smiled letting him know It didn't bother me. He climbed out quickly and at that point I knew I could only be his friend. I was dealing with to much as it was.

(Edwards POV)

I pulled my silver Volvo up the road to my house and for some reason the only thing I saw in front of me was her dark brown curls and blue eyes I didn't even know here name but I would never forget those eyes they were mesmerizing. I parked my baby and got out I walked through the side door of my three story house and was greeted by Alice. To say the least my sister was hyper. She had short spiky black hair and only came up to about my chest she just turned seventeen we were born exactly a year and a half a part. Needless to say my mom Esme and dad Charlisle use to have a love life.

"Hey ally what's up" I whispered while trying to walk away I should have known it wouldn't be that easy as she jumped in front of me.

"So did you see the new girl I thought she was super pretty." she said jumping up and down how jasper delt with her I will never know. Jasper Hale was Alices boyfriend and my best friend it was weird at first but if it had to be some one I was glad it was Jasper I knew he would treat her right.

"yeah I saw her." I tried to sound nonchalant but Alice knows me to well for that

"Oh MY God!!! Edward you like her" my sister had an uncanny way of telling how things would work out. I tried to hide my face before she could see the smile that swept across it but of course she saw she always did.

"Be careful with her Edward I have a feeling she's been hurt or going to be hurt " she sounded miserable as the words whispered from her mouth.

"What do you mean what happened Ally tell me" I was so scared my heart felt like it was going to rip through my chest. I couldn't explain why I felt this way all I knew was I felt like my heart had split in two. This perfect girl had been hurt but by who or what. Who could hurt this beautiful creature my Bella. Wait a minute when had she become my Bella I haven't even talked to her. Yet the words felt so right.

"I don't know Edward" I could tell she was lying

I didn't push it though I would let Bella tell me when she was ready I decided I was going to talk to her tomorrow I wanted to hear her voice see her blush stare into those beautiful blue eyes. What was with me I don't even know this girl I've never felt the feeling going through me.

I pulled up to my normal spot in the school parking lot and spotted her before I got out she was leaning against a pick up truck reading. I wanted to know what she was reading so bad it hurt the more I knew the closer to finding out her secret I would be. I started walking toward her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys this is my first fanfic. IM REALLY NERVOUS about posting it so please review and tell me what you think I know chapter two was short but I really just needed to put Edwards feelings out there. thanks **

**pretty please review**

Chtp3

(Edwards POV)

"Edward come on were gonna be late" I heard Alices voice from across the parking lot.

"hold on Ally I'll be right there" every one standing with Alice had a mask of shock on there face as the saw what I was about to do. Every one except Alice her smile could have made any body laugh it was so big. Just when I turned back towards the girl I wanted to get to know. I was met by the most beautiful blue eyes. I was so nervous I didn't normally just walk up to people and talk to them but I had to be close to her. I took the five short steps it took to reach her truck and the look on her face was mixed with confusion and shock.

"hello im Edward Masen…I just thought I would introduce myself may I ask your name." I managed to get out before I lost my nerve.

"umm Bella my names Bella swan…." she looked nervous I wonder why this beautiful angel would be nervous…_she must already have a boyfriend im stupid for walking over here and thinking she would want to talk to me god am I an idiot._

"well I guess I should be off don't want to be late." I started to turn around and walk towards the math building.

"Wait a sec don't we have the same class" it was Bella's voice and it sounded like wind chimes the most beautiful sound in the world. I turned around only to find her standing at my side. I couldn't help the smile that covered my face and I could have sworn I head her giggle.

(Bella's POV)

"I believe so." His velvet voice whispered. _come on Bella what are you doing you don't even know this boy remember last time u got sucked into a boy._ I pushed that thought out of my head as fast as it came but I knew it would hurt later and I would have to resort to the only thing that made the pain go away the razor I hide under the mattress in my room. I didn't just wear long sleeves because it was cold of course I would never tell anybody that.

"oh ok well see you later then bye" I mumbled having to get away before I let myself get in to deep I was already in to deep with Jacob but I knew I would only be his friend I wasn't actually interested him in a boyfriend type of way but Edward on the other hand was absolutely perfect. His hair was exactly the copper shade of a penny his features were strong but subtle all at the same time his nose was perfectly straight his lips were full and his eyes were the most beautiful green it was like I could stare into them forever. I wanted to trust him I wanted to be close to him but why I hadn't want to even speak to another guy since the horrible night that ripped my life to shreds.

"Hey wait up" I heard Edward yell over the crowd I just kept on walking not thinking he would come after me but when I felt a hand wrap itself around my wrist and tug me backward I wanted to scream

_Flash back_

_"no please don't…stop please it hurts" the smell of blood was making my head spin I had to get out I was crawling towards the door not realizing the trail of blood flowing from my mouth and every where else i was compeletly covered in it_

_"you little bitch were do you think your going im not finished with you I just got started"_

_"don't touch me…get away from me…HELP" I tried screaming but it came out in chocked out sobs._

_"come on baby I though you said you loved me" he slammed his foot into my chest and that was when everything turned black._

"Bella hey Bella are you ok what happened what I do Bella talk to me please" he managed to get out and the look in his eyes caught me off guard it looked like he really cared. I was sobbing into his chest how we got from the parking lot into his car I still don't know but he just held me and let me cry. I was furious at myself for letting him in so I straightened up wiped my eyes fixed my hair and opened the door to go to class

"Bella were are you going just relax a little bit it's gonna be ok I wont hurt you just calm down" he crooned

"I have to get out of here I don't even know you" I said as another round of sobs broke out. How I hated these traitor tears I thought I was strong but this boy brought out reactions I wasn't use to having in public. Of course every night locked away in my room that was a different story. I stumbled my way out of his car and over to my truck I couldn't deal with the pressure of school today. I needed my razor.

**I wanted to hold out on bellas secret a little bit longer but it just came out kinda. **

**please review**


	4. Chapter 4

(Bellas POV)

I got out of Edwards car as fast as I could, drove home threw the keys on the kitchen counter and broke down before I could even reach my room. I sat on the third step of out stair case and cried as all the memories came flooding back to me. I loved him well at least I thought I did james was three years older then I was. I was naïve and thought a twenty year old could actually love a stupid teenager.

"bella…Bella baby wake up" I heard my dads voice but it sounded like it was coming from a distance like my ears were full of cotton. My dad doesn't know about what happened only my brother Emmitt Knew I made him promise never to tell any body. He's the one that found me. I woke up remembering the look in Emmitts eyes when I woke out of the coma so many emotions flashed across his face. Happiness, anger, sorrow, fear, hurt but most of all love. We weren't close before the incident but now going a day with out him is like torture. My brother was my sun own personal light who could make anybody laugh in there darkest hour.

"Bella are you alright sweetheart you look sick like you've been crying are you ok." he mumbled out the words in a rush I could tell he was concerned.

"yeah char…dad im fine I was just really tired I came home early and sat down I felt like I was gonna fall I guess I fell asleep im gonna go back upstairs and to bed goodnight." I said kissing him in the cheek.

"goodnight sweetheart love you, Im down here if you need to talk."

"Love you to dad… I know."

I walked through the door of my room and headed towards my bed before lying down I reached under the mattress and grabbed my best friend. I pulled up my sleave and made a fresh cut above the ones from last nigh, crawled under my covers and drifted back to sleep hoping I wouldn't have nightmares.

(Edwards POV)

I sat in my car holding this beautiful creature while she cried into my chest and with every tear that trailed down her face another piece of my heart broke._ she's not the one Edward stop being stupid._ it hurt just to think those words.

"Bella hey Bella are you ok what happened what I do Bella talk to me please" All I knew was I reached out and took her wrist the next think I know she's crying I felt so bad this was my fault I should of just let her go but I had to hear her voice again. So there I was in my silver Volvo with a girl I was in love with but could never have. She pulled away from and automaticly missed her smell and her touch she started opening her door I had to think of a way to get her to stay with me just a little bit longer

"Bella were are you going just relax a little bit its gonna be ok I wont hurt you just calm down" I wish I could make her believe me I would never hurt her on purpose any ways.

"I have to get out of here I don't even know you" And with that another wave of sobs ripped through her but as I was reaching up to wipe away her tears she got out of my car with out even looking at me and I watched her drive away. _What are you doing why would she like you jeez im so stupid_. I was shouting at myself while driving home I couldn't face the kids at school they would make fun of her and I cant afford to get in trouble for punching someone in the fucking mouth.

I walked through the side door of my house to see Alice and all my friends from school sitting around the coffee table in my living room watching T.V. eating popcorn the didn't hear me at first so I tried to just seek off to my room but of course Alice caught me.

"Hey Eddie" Alice called with a big smile on her face

"Hey Ally" it came out in just a whisper

"So Edward you got yourself a girlfriend huh Rose and I thought you would be single for ever" Emmitt boomed

Emmitt was huge about six foot five and looked like a bear. He has short wavy black hair and a square jaw. To be honest I was a little scared of him at first but he wouldn't hurt a fly unless you mess with his family. The next thing I know he's jumping up and down yelping

"why'd you do that rose damn"

Rosalie had a smile on her face like she always does when she smacks him for being stupid Rosalie was very pretty she had long blond wavy hair and curves in all the right places I had a huge crush on her when she first moved to forks but now she like another little sister

"Sorry bout that Ed" she whispered

"So what was wrong with her man we saw you guys in the car" Jasper asked speaking for the first time.

"To be honest I don't know one minute I was running trying to catch up to her and when I grabbed her wrist she looked at me and here eyes held so much pain I could tell she was terrified and then she just started crying." I said running my hand through my hair like I do when I get upset

"hey man its gonna be ok" Emmitt was serious now which is not normal for him I looked at my friends and by the expressions on their faces I knew they could see how much pain im in."

"I just don't know what to do she was just crying and there was nothing I could do I felt helpless she just kept crying" my voice kept breaking and I could feel the tears about to fall from my eyes so I turned away and walked off to my room ignoring the murmurs coming from behind me. I walked into my room closed my door turned on the stereo as loud as it could go layed down on my bed and cried I don't know how long its been since I cried. I cried for Bella or her pain and tears and I cried because I didn't know how to make it better.

"Eddie everything's gonna be ok I can sense it…its gonna be alright." Alice crooned rubbing circles on my back trying to sooth me instead it got worse and my tears turned into sobs as Alice held me. She had never seen me cry nobody has for that matter. I calmed down straightend myself out and sat up to be confronted not only by Alice but Jasper, Emmitt and Rosalie as well. TO say I'm embarrassed would be and understatement.

"its ok man everythings gonna work out listen to Alice man" Emmitt said coming up for a man hug

"I know dude I sure hope she's right" I mumbled not expecting anyone else to hear

"Im disappointed in you Edward you should trust me more then that" Alice said her voice thick with disappointment.

"I know Ally I know…im gonna hit the hay guys good night." I said

"Alright man good night" Jasper finally said something.

That was the first night I dreamt of Bella Swan.

(Bella's POV)

"I woke up screaming I was use to having nightmares or should I say living my nightmares. This one was different from my normal dreams instead of James it was Edward and everything started out perfect he was playing with my hair and whispered sweet nothings in my ear he planted a sweet kiss on my lips and then everything went wrong he started pulling on my clothes trying to rip them off as I was screaming for him to stop I looked up and it was no longer Edward's green eyes I saw it was James steel blue eyes looking at me with pure hatred


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors note**

**Yes I know there are to Emmitts in this story **

**Bella's brother who will show up later in the story **

**He will be known as David which is his middle name**

**Bella is the only one that calls him but his first name**

**He will end up moving to forks **

**Now that that's all cleared up please **

**Review on the story and let me know if u should keep going **

**I think I might stop writing this one if I don't get enough reviews**

**thanks for reading my next chapter should be up by tomorrow **

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys sorry this chpt took so long to put up but im not sure if I want to finish the story or not so review and tell me what you think**

(Bella's POV)

It was already five thirty in the morning when I woke up from my nightmare so I decided to just get up. I took an extra long shower making sure to scrub away every memory I had yesterday I washed my hair twice with the strawberry shampoo ive been using since I was five my mom use to say it made me smell like pure bliss I didn't know what that meant and to be honest I still don't truly understand. I heard Charlie's cruiser pulling out as I was getting dressed. I couldn't explain to myself why I was so worried about what I was going to wear. _I wonder if Edward will like this top_ _no don't think about him it doesn't matter._ I walked down stairs sat at the table and got my cereal ready when I finally noticed the note on the table

_Hey bells_

_I have some good news…_

_Just got off the phone with David and he's finally deiced to move in_

_He'll be here when you get home from school_

_Love ya _

_Dad_

I sat there staring at the note trying to register what was happening my brother was moving in. It took me a while to realize he was talking about Emmitt I was the only on e allowed to call him by his first name. Emmitt David swan hates his first name with a passion so every one knows him as David. I got up so excited I tripped over the leg of the chair. I grabbed the keys to the truck opened the door and there was Edward getting ready to knock on it. _omg what is he doing here could I be any more embarrassed._

"I just though you might want a ride to school today" he said shyly

" umm..Im not to sure about that" _omg you know you like him just except the ride and get over it._

"Oh ok well that's cool never mind" his face fell and he started to turn around I felt so guilty for making him upset.

"Wait up Edward…I'll take the ride if you're still willing" his face lit up like a little boy in a candy store. I threw the keys back in the house not caring were they landed and locked the door. He had already walked down the path down to his car and was waiting with the passenger door open. He took my hand and helped me into my seat closed the door and ran around to the passenger seat got in the car and started the engine but instead of driving away he was just sitting there staring at me with what looked like concern in his deep green eyes.

"What is it Edward" I said blushing at the fact that he was looking at me.

"Ummm nothing never mind it's not important." he said looking away from me

"Seriously Edward just tell me" I said starting to get annoyed

"I was wondering if you were ok and maybe if you wanted to talk about it" he mumbled probably hoping I wouldn't hear it

"Look Edward what happened yesterday that's not normal for me I don't let people see me like that and im sorry you had to deal with that im sure it was the last thing you would want to deal with it wont happen again." I stated in a firm voice.

The next thing I know his fingers are under my chin pulling my face back so I have to look into his eyes

"Bella please don't ever say anything like that again its killing me to know you don't trust me please just let me be here for you." he said and the look in is eyes was complete and unfathomable love._ Hahaha you really think he could love you stupid girl im so stupid he probably just feels sorry for me. _

"How do I know you won't leave" I whispered trying to hide the hurt.

"I don't think I could if I tried Bella you've made me whole and I've only known you for three days"

"Your just saying that you don't mean it nobody feels that way about me im worthless don't you know that I don't want your pity Edward can we just go to school" I said trying to hide the tears I knew would break through any minute.

"How do you feel about ditching… im not really in the mood to deal with my friends and I want to show you the place I go when I need to think." he said with that velvet voice that made my knees weak.

"Yeah that's cool…weres it at." I said

"You'll see" he whispered.

We drove for what seemed like and hour before we got the rail head why were we in the mountains I was starting to get extremely anxious why would he be bring me into the woods what does he want with me oh no I what do I do. I looked over and Edward was staring at me again.

"Bella love what's wrong" worry was the only expression on his face

"I was just wondering why you were bringing me to the woods" I said my voice cracking. Every bad thing that could possibly happen to me started running through my mind. I broke out in cold sweets and noticed my hands shaking. Edward slowly grabbed one of my hands in his rubbing soothing circles with his thumb trying to calm me down

"My love I want hurt you please please believe me… I wanted to show you a place that my parents use to bring me to when I was little it's a meadow ride up the trail this is were I come to think. I've never shown anybody this place not even Alice." That caught my attention. _Alice must be his girlfriend I knew it was true good to be true he only brought me here out of pity wow could I be anymore naïve._ I couldn't hide the hurt in my eyes but I tried to push it back before he could see but it didn't work

"Alice is my sister I was gonna introduce you two today when we were done here if that's ok…I want you to meet some other people to" he said smiling as we started walking up the trail

"And who might that be" I whispered new people scared me

"Well there's Jasper, Alice's boyfriend and my best friend then there's Rosalie and Emmitt who are also mine and Alice's best friend"

"wait a minute you have a friend named Emmitt, that's my brothers name but he prefers to go by David" it wasn't until I said this that I realized he would be coming home today it had been so long since the last time I saw him.

"That's weird" Edward sounded worried.

"Don't worry my brother is harmless he's a year older then but he looks more like my mom"

"Were here" he said pushing through the brush on the side of the trail and it was the most beautiful place ive ever seen with grass blowing in the wind and flowers scattered in what seemed like perfect harmony.

"Do you like it" he whispered snaking his arms around my waist.

"I love it" I said as a tear slipped from my eye Edward lead me to the middle of the meadow and sat me down.

"Im glad you like it but its nothing with you here in comparison." I blushed at his words.

"Let's play a game…how bout twenty questions" he said with a taunting voice.

"ummm…ok" I managed to chock out. _Why would you agree to this he doesn't need to know your secrets he'll just end up hating you._

"What's your favorite color?"

"Green" I blurted out with out thinking causing a blush to creep up to my cheeks which only made him chuckle.

"What's yours" I asked shyly Edward looked in my eyes and whispered

"Brown…warm chocolate brown." I felt my heart skip a beat

(Edwards POV)

Sitting here looking into her eyes I can feel my world piecing itself together I want to know want to know what happened to her so here I am sitting in my meadow debating on asking her _Just ease into it that's probably the best way to get her to open up. _

"So why did you move to forks" I asked trying to sound nonchalant her reaction definite wasn't what I expected her eyes tightened she drew her mouth into a tight line and started pulling on the sleeve to her jacket

"IM not sure I should tell you only my brother knows." she whispered

"Please I promise I won't tell anybody" I said rubbing circles soothingly into her arms

"Im afraid you wont like me" she whispered sound vulnerable and weak.

"Bella I already told you that's not possible"

"Alright well here it goes" I sat there quietly listening to what happened to her getting angrier by the minute

"Umm I was seventeen and I started dating this guy named James he was twenty at the time." she shuttered at the name.

"We were together for about three months and he wanted to take our relationship to the next level and I wasn't ready. He called me one night and said his roommate was out of town for the weekend and he wanted to rent a movie for us. So I got to his house and he started to the movie…We started kissing and then he tried touching me and when I told him to stop he got really mad and started hitting me I tried get out but he was to strong…he ripped at my shirt tell he finally got it off and then he forced my pants off and im pretty sure you can figure out what else happened when I woke up I was in the hospital… id been in a coma for about two months when I finally got to go home my mom started doing drugs and it got really bad so I thought a new start would be good for everybody so I sent my mom to rehab and moved in with Charlie." she finished

Now im sitting here with tears running down my face thinking about how badly I want to kill the little fucker who hurt her

"Edward you ok" she whispered wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Why…why you your perfect absolutely perfect" I cried

I realized at that exact point in time I loved her more then I ever thought possible. I looked back up at Bella and she was taking off her jacket that when I saw them I grabbed her wrist as soft as possible trying not to scare her

"What's this Bells…why'd you do this I broke out into even more sobs.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys sorry this chpt took so long to put up but im not sure if I want to finish the story or not so review and tell me what you think**

(Bella's POV)

Who knew the next move I would make would be that big of a mistake. It was starting to get warm outside so I decided to take off my jacket but of course I forgot I had a short sleeve shirt on

"What's this Bells…why'd you do this." I looked down and realizes he was talking about the cuts that covered from my wrist to my elbow on the inside of both my arms. He broke into a fit of sobs.

"Edward its fonna be ok im fine there not that bad" I whispered

"not that bad bella are you fucking kidding me look at at your arms you could die Bella do you understand what that would do to me.: he was angry ive never heard his voice this loud before and to be honest it scared the shit out of me

"Edward it makes me feel better I don't expect you to understand." I yelled back

"Your right I don't understand why would somebody to that to themselves. I love you Bella and your breaking my heart."

"You love me" I said in an almost inaduble whisper

"Yes Bella I love you, I've loved you since the day I met you and your killing me Bells why." I was to excited about him telling me he loved me he couldn't hove someone like me Im to messed up.

"Bella tell me something."

"huh" was all I could squeak out.

"Do you love me…can you see yourself with me forever…do you want to be with me."

_Ok now I know im dreaming Edward couldn't possibly be in love with me._

"alright I'll take that as a n…" but before he could finish I had lifted myself off the ground and smashed my lips against his. In that moment everything was perfect my world put itself back together and there was no pain. I felt his tongue run alonf my bottom lip asking to deepen the hiss before I could stop myself I had my arms wrapped around his neck with my fingers knotted in his hair pulling him closer till our bodies were pressed together and we couldn't get any closer. I finally had to break away for air.

"wow" we both whispered in sync.

"You never answered my question." he chuckled

"Yes I can see myself with you and if that kiss wasn't enough for you to realize I love you then we got a problem." I laughed

"Come on I want you to meet everyone." He said while pulling me back to the car.

"Can we go back to my place first my brother is supposed to be home today." I said

"Ummm yeah." I could tell he was worried about meeting my brother little did he know my brother wasn't all that big and would never hurt anybody unless absolutely necessary.

"Don't worry he'll be fine im sure you guys will become fast friends.: I said trying to calm him down. I didn't realize we were pulling into my drive way until I saw Emmitts huge jeep I got out of the car as fast as possible threw open the front door and ran into my brothers waiting arms.

" OH MY GOD! Em I missed you so much." I practically yelled

"I know sis I missed you to…who's he." Of course he always got straight to the point. but I could hear the anger in his voice. I had totally forgot about Edward who was standing in the door way.

"Calm down Em its ok."

"Bella I thought we agreed you would call me David around other people

"Oh sorry." I said with a chuckle

"David, Edward, Edward, David." I introduced them and of course my brother shook his hand with a little to much force.

"Is he your boyfriend Bells." He looked at me with concerned filled eyes

"Umm that's a good question." I looked at Edward

"Only if you want." Edward whispered I shook my head and ran to him

"Yes bro this is my boyfriend."

"I don't like this Bella remember what happened last.." but before he could finish I cut him off.

"Yes David I remember and I learned from my mistakes I should have seen the signs sooner but I know what to look for now and Edward is nothing like James please just give him a chance I love him and its nothing like the way I felt for James it's a hundred times stronger you know the way you look at Angela kinda like shes all you see and all that matters in the world well that's how Edward looks at me." I was crying I wanted nothing more then to make my brother understand.

"Ok Bellsy ok calm down im sorry I just worry about you come on please don't cry im sorry sis please." He hated to see me cry and I could tell he felt guilty

"I know I shouldn't have broke down like that." I whispered

"I have a date with Ang tonight but if you rather I stay I will." He said but I could tell he really wanted to go he hadn't seen her god knows how long

"No we were gonna go over to Edwards house so I could meet his friends and family. I wont be back to late k I love you bro." I gave him a hug grabbed Edward by the arm and forced him out the door

"You guys really have a good relationship huh." Edward asked as we got in the car

"Well he's the one that found me that night." I whispered hoping he wouldn't want me to explain anymore he must of seen that I wouldn't so he dropped the subject. About ten minutes later we pulled up to the most amazing house I had ever seen it was absolutely stunning and timeless with walls that were mostly made of glass it was at east three stories and absolutely magnificent little did I know the inside was even more beautiful. The walls were an off white with what looked like eighteen century furnishings that were in perfect condition

"Wow" was my clever response

"Yeah my moms and interior designer while my dads head surgeon down at the hospital." He said it like it was no big deal

I just stood there for what seemed like hours but im sure it was only minutes until I was pulled out of my stupper. I turned around and was met by the most amazing green eyes and all of a sudden his lips were on mine and my bones felt like jelly

"Hey Eddies got himself a girl friend finally…guess your not the odd one out anymore huh Ed." I turned around to see a guy I could only guess to be Emmitt he was huge but you could tell just by looking at him he was a teddy bear. I didn't expect what happened next he pulled me up into the biggest bear hug I had ever been given and at first it scared the hell out of me until I realized he wasn't trying to hurt me. Edward could obviously see I was scared but before he could say anything I reassured him everything was fine and I would be alright.

"Its ok Edward im alright it just surprised me that's all."

"Are you sure Bella I know he didn't mean any harm but you looked scared for a minute." He rushed trying to make sure I was okay

"Hey what did I do I only gave her a hug." Emmitt said in hurt voice

"I take it your Emmit…that my brothers name to but he prefers to be called david… anyways you didn't do anything wrong I was just takin by surprise I mean look at you your huge who wouldn't be a little scared." I tried to play it I knew I didn't do a good job but before he could say anything a little pixie like girl came running up to me almost jumping out of her skin.

"Hi Bella im Alice… Edwards sister im sure we will be great friends."

"Hi Alice its nice to meet you." I said with a sad attempt of enthusiasm

"Hello im Rosalie Hale and this is my brother Jasper." I looked up to see the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and all of a sundden all the confidence I did have went out the window not that there was a lot to begin with but before I could get to upset Edward snaked his arms around my back he must have seen the look of disappointment in my face cause he whispered in my ear

"Don't worry Bella you are the most beautiful thing in this world no body can compare to you my love." and I instantly felt better

"So do you want a tour of the house." Edward asked

"Um yeah I guess sure why not." I muttered and all of a sudden everyone in the room was laughing at me.

"what the hell are you guys laughing at jeez." I said with a mock glare plastered on my face

"nothing love its nothing." Edward said trying to stifle his laughter. Edward lead me all over the house and finally we were at the last door on the third floor and as I had guessed it was his room.

"this is my room." I never realized how cute he was when he got nervous

"its umm…wow im speechless." his room was covered from wall floor to ceiling with music and books and journals. it was nothing like I expected. my brothers room always had pictures of semi naked girls all over it and lothes thrown absolutely every were but Edwards room was the complete opposite everything had a place and everything was in its place completely spotless. Without noticing I had walked into the center of his room and was scanning the walls.

"So what do you think." he whispered god his voice was perfect like velvet and chocolate it made my whole body tingle and I couldn't help my self from turning around and kissing him. It had been a good ten minutes since the kiss started and the next thing I knew we were on his bed and I was straddling him when we heard the snickers and muffled giggles coming from the door way.

"dude Eddies finally gonna get some hell yeah." Emmitts voice boomed over everyone's laughter. Edward and I both jumped off the bed faces flushed colthes crumpled from our closness.

"Shut up Em." Rosalie laughed while hitting him in the head. The last thing I expected was Emmitt to pick her up and start kissing her

"I like my girl feisty." He said

"Ok love birds lets get going we have a lot to learn about each other." Alice's voice nearly cracked with how high pitched her yell was.

I_ only hope she doesn't want to know to much_. I thought as we headed down stairs to start the integration.


End file.
